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If you were fully clear where you believe
you are already fully clear, you would not experience so
much confusion and self-doubting anxiety in your mental background. The
same is true wherever you believe you have achieved a complete
understanding. Therefore (and this is going to be difficult
for you) you are not fully clear about the issue of full
clarity nor do you fully comprehend the issue of complete
understanding. And it gets worse: you are not going
to be able to go on to the next note
with full clarity or complete understanding of this note.
You are going to carry on with false beliefs about your “clarity” and
your so-called “understanding”. This is also
going to be rather upsetting for you, whether you suppress
your anguish or exhaust it. But you will not fully face
and clarify this issue
either. The habit of emotional mental incompleteness
and partial seeing does not just immediately end, especially
with an average mediocre mind such as yours. We are very
sorry to have to tell you this, but there is always hope of
clarity.
Armed with your hope of clarity, you have arrived
in your usual incomplete mentality of partial seeing at this note.
This means, among other things, that you will predictably
read this note selectively without
realizing that you are doing that. It is not an easy
thing for the neurotic emotional mind to perceive. In
fact, a neurotic emotional mind cannot as such see its own
incompleteness. Complete seeing requires a non-neurotic
mind that cheerfully looks into all this without mechanical,
biological or emotional reactions. However, you will
just have to carry on in the next note
as best you can in the light of your present condition.
This has all been pointed out in a variety of
ways right from the beginning. This is necessary because
you are a slow learner. Before you go into the next session,
try to get more fully into the various implications of slow
learning in comparison to really and fully waking
up to all this.
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