You have no choice but to read this note, so you might as well deeply and sincerely admit that you have a lot of hidden confusion about your on-going trip into your personal future and what it might turn-out to be.

This note is about your inner discomfort or periodic suffering in your mental background that tends to generate hidden confusion within you.  Are you willing to face this inner discomfort or painful condition within yourself?   There is no point in reading the next note if you want to believe you are totally O.K. through-and-through.

You are now looking into that nagging place within you where you have to admit to yourself that you are not totally O.K., that something is wrong with you, that there is a background pain that surrounds itself with confusion and tries to enact various kinds of escape.  Do not go on to the next note if you are not looking directly at this painful and confused thing in yourself.

This note is about how you like to imagine that your hidden pain and confusion are truly hidden.   Actually, anyone with psychic eyesight can plainly see this on-going difficulty going on within you.  And you are not unique in being the way you are. It is all too much the norm.  Neurosis is mediocrity, it is utterly common, and you have to deal with this fact; your “hidden” pain and confusion are so dull, so normal.   In fact, all the normal escapes you try to repeatedly perform in life only serve to maintain your dull normalcy, which makes you have to return again and again to the starting point, to square one, which is the whole unconscious structure of your inner discomfort and confusion.  So, you must not go on to the next note without a fresh willingness to more consciously examine and understand your inner state.  Will you do this?

Are you now admitting more fully your familiar everyday inner discomfort, confusion and restlessness with the endless attempts, the trips you go on, to escape or cover it all up?  Do not go on to the next note without greater awareness of your entire inner process.

We are observing your inner discomfort, your inner pain and confusion, that actually go on inside of you.  This background discomfort is actually happening.  You cannot really say that it is just a fleeting or minor thing because your entire psychological existence is built around it, is a continuous reaction to it.  Is this not so?  So we have to go into it like never before, but not in the sense that you are important, that you are some gloriously profound inner case of neurotic inner difficulty and fragmentation.  That inner crappy, unhappy thing likes to build-up personal ego and self-enclosed self-importance as one of its main ways of maintaining itself, which is its self-deception of pretending that it wants a solution to itself.  Will you look at this fully and squarely, directly, before the next note?

Here you are at your starting point, your secret pain and confusion, from which springs all your attempted escapes, your pleasures and pastimes, your attempts to keep busy, your ambitions, and even your attempted self-improvements or spiritual breakthroughs.   We are looking into where you always collapse back into sooner or later, which is so horribly central in your mind, in your personal existence where your existential dreads and anguish, your untogether nothingness is all too apparent.  Of course, virtually everybody on Earth has this deplorable neurotic inner nothingness of secret pain and confusion, of spiritual failure, so it cannot possibly make you special or important.   Efforts to be special and important only make the condition worse.  Is this not so?

O.K. you are without choice.  You have to be choicelessly aware of your fundamental inner state of psychological discomfort and secret but obvious confusion.   Stick with it!  See you at the next note session, and good luck!

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