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This note wants you to think about
how you do not want to think even when you think you want to
think.
This note is about anyone but you because
you are too caught-up in your self-evaluations.
If this note were a large living
creature, it would stealthily move off through the woods and
quietly avoid your insane attention.
This note expresses something important,
which makes it incomprehensible to a typical self-enclosed
reader like yourself.
However many times your self-enclosement reads a note like this one,
you will imagine that the difference between each note is more
significant than the sameness. This happens because of the
self-enclosement and for no other reason, but the self-enclosement
will never see this even when it is convinced that it does.
Self-enclosement will be perplexed about this note
because it is not about what your self-enclosement wants it
to be about.
This note
is about your lack of initiative, which means that your self-enclosement
is a stupid farce, which means that you are a perfectly normal
human being here in the world who will wake up dead someday
in spite of your belief that you want to stop being self-enclosed,
which is what gives you the false impression of being “doomed” so
that you will not have to feel responsible for your lack of
initiative, which means that you have a kind of perverse initiative
curled-in on itself, which is virtually involuntary self-enclosement
yet still perverse initiative as a dark determination to try
to make self-enclosement work, which is actually just struggling
to death as an act of core ignorance and stupidity, which is
insane, but a kind of insanity that believes it is protecting
a sanity when the only so-called “sanity” it is
protecting is futile normalcy.
If you really knew how hilariously stupid you are, you would
realize that you have built notes into
your self-enclosed planning so heavily that they cannot do
anything decisive for you. This obviously includes this note,
which you have already rendered useless even
if you try to believe it is teaching you something important
about yourself.
Any self-enclosed idiot will read this note
as if it were some exercise in sincere humility rather than
an opportunity to open-up and explore the unknown.
You have no initiative toward initiative, which is why you
will not read this note with genuine
inner flame of intensity. What is more likely is that you will
ask some silly question like, “is ‘inner flame
of intensity’ the same as ‘initiative’?” or “will ‘inner
flame of intensity’ give me ‘initiative’?” or
even worse, “how do I get ‘inner flame of intensity’?” These
kinds of questions of course prove that the self-enclosed fool
has no initiative toward initiative.
No initiative is necessary to enjoy this note,
so just enjoy it and don’t
make any silly trouble.
The best bet for self-enclosed normals who lack initiative
is to expand their sex-life with newly heavy dirty thrills
so that they at least feel weird, energized and slightly guilty
and afraid of themselves and what they might be capable of
with one another. If they get fucked-up enough about their
fucking, interesting steps of higher and more real initiative
become urgently necessary. Once a certain pitch of horribly
urgent necessity is rising up in the self-enclosed normal,
they will either shift their assemblage point or ruin their
life. Either way, normalcy is destroyed, whether the normal
wants to seize the opportunity or not. However, most normals
realize that sex has a hidden spiritual threat, so they avoid
the tantric path, keeping their energy low and their mind fixed
on normal work routines and plans for normal energy pleasures.
Normal readers always believe that their sex life and their
book (or notes) reading life are two separate things. This
is how they keep the requisite level of crazy energy out of both.
Crazy energy in sex is called tantra and
crazy energy in reading and thinking is
called initiative. The fact is, that
crazy energy is in both or neither.
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